12 Days of Blogmas! Day Five: Self-Care at Christmas

Hallo my little frostlings!

I am here to present to you my fifth day of Blogmas, and Day Five is slightly more special is it not?

Today’s little festive offering is about Self Care. Hopefully it will serve as a little reminder that one of the most valuable things we can do at Christmas is to make sure we’re taking care of ourselves and actively making the time to do so. If you’re anything like me you can get so swept up in the seasonal follies that you forget to be calm and centred. It almost seems selfish to me to do so, ironically. But thinking about it, surely what your family and friends want most is for you to be healthy and happy and ready to celebrate life together, and the best way to start is through Self Care. 

Today, I was discharged from CBT after completing a course of 8 therapy sessions, based largely on anxiety and self esteem. I can’t thank my therapist enough, she has been wonderful, and I will definitely miss talking things through with her. That’s not to say I feel I need to continue, but it was an entirely new experience for me to help rework the patterns of thought in which I felt trapped. It sounds bonkers, but i had never even considered the prospect of treating myself kindly, or considering forgiveness as a way to step forward and beyond what I have done to make myself feel so numb. In September I put myself in a situation where I felt completely out of control, and it was as though I was letting the world wash over me, and I didn’t care if I let go and lost myself completely. I realise this all sounds dramatic and  abstract and unrelatable but I don’t want to get bogged down in what actually happened, but I want to appreciate the gains from this experience: recognising there was a problem, and taking the initiative to address it.

There were plenty of resources available to me, I was very lucky. I understand not everyone will be able to access the same help as me, but I hope that in sharing this it may encourage you to try, if you feel you need it. One of the things I said I wanted to unchain and leave behind in 2016 was my tendency to self-harm. To me it felt like nothing more than a habit, as I didn’t feel particularly upset when doing it, or as if I was feeding into a wider issue, it was just an easy way of acknowledging my own mistakes, and feeling the need to punish myself for them. I would sometimes ‘save’ them up and use them when I arrived at a more private space, or sometimes I would feel unable to delay this, and have to resort to hurting myself in front of other people. It didnt have to be noticeable, usually just something to cause me some level of pain. This became a unique pain to me, after a while it didn’t hurt half as much and I would feel a strong urge to turn to more painful options. It was often verbal as well, simply berating every action and thought of my day became the norm. This carried on far into 2017, and I wish I had recognised earlier that I needed to try a different angle. It all felt like an accumulation rather than an effective coping mechanism, and was starting to govern every decision I made.
Talking things through with a therapist was a frightening concept for me, as I’m sure it is to a lot of people. All I can say, from someone who struggles to articulate herself on a daily basis, is that you will not feel judged or helpless. Each session I had made me think about how much of a bully I had become to myself, and how this can be stopped with practice. It was getting in the way of living. The awful words, the breath-holding, the scratching, the cutting, the biting, the burning, the slapping. I dont know how I got myself into this hole but I was starting to rely on it. It was comforting to hate myself with such abandon for everything that mattered to me, because I felt capable of it, and it was familiar. I had little tasks and methods to practice in between every session, and there was no pressure to achieve anything or to aim for a consistent incline in mood or capabilities…the most relieving aspect was that she made me realise that it’s perfectly fine to make mistakes, and to feel up and down, and to be inconsistent. 
I don’t expect there to be a flick of a switch or the twist of a bulb and suddenly compassionate thinking will be my permanent mindset. I accept there will be a struggle to wean myself off punishment, but it’s something I am more than prepared to do. I feel as though I have the tools I need now. And hopefully this will all ripple outwards, and these compassionate thoughts will extend to those around me. The other day at work, I made a mistake, which was usually my trigger to seize up and resort to a bullying mindset. I felt my fingers twitch as though ready to dig my nails into my inner arm. Instead I managed to take four deep breaths, not ignore the urge but acknowledge that I do not need to cave to it, and I chose not to. It sounds like the smallest moment but I felt so proud of myself for bypassing the start of what could potentially have been weeks of guilt. When I look back on 2017, it is these moments that I wish to celebrate. 

In the spirit of self-care, one of my modules was setting aside specific times for headspace. Doing something for myself, which makes me calm and energised. Having a long bath, going to the cinema, stretching, reading a loved book, etc. If I have a vague notion of treating myself to such a time, I often don’t get round to it, or rank it lowest on the hierarchy of what is to be done that day. I have instead started scheduling this headspace as if it were an appointment, or a social event. I tell myself that it is extremely important that I do this, at this set time, because looking after myself is so valuable. It can be a simple 10 minutes. I tell myself that I deserve it, and I do. Harsh thoughts will creep in, like “I haven’t worked hard enough to deserve this” or “You’re so selfish. Do something productive.” In these instances I will consider the opposite, and how much more beneficial it will be to my mental health. What if I have worked hard? What if this is productive? For the first time in my life it feels acceptable to offer praise to myself instead of hatred. The red welts on my skin are all starting to fade to a silver translucency. 

To conclude this post, here are a few photos from my Self Care sessions the past couple of days: Going for long walks in the snow, listening to music. I have never felt more capable.

Until the next day of Blogmas,




12 Days of Blogmas! Day Four: A Very Festive Menstruation…

Greetings my little frostlings, welcome to Blogmas Day Four!

Today I am here to bring to you a little day-in-the-life with a festive theme. In true TMI spirit, because this time of year is for sharing, this post is about being on your period during Christmastime.

If you are a menstruating person, chances are at some point during December you will get your period. This is a time of year when emotions are heightened, you may already feel stressed and overworked and skint, and you may think this is the last thing you need. Have no fear though, for there are ways of making it slightly less…y’know, inconvenient. This notion does seem to clash with my general mantra of being positive and open about periods, and I still feel that they should be talked about and not hushhushed or stigmatized. They are however, a bodily function that generally involves controlling a heavy blood flow and battling with rushes of hormones, and it can be pretty jarring from time to time. My post today is therefore a little compilation of how I’m coping with my festive gift from Mother Nature. (God those Mother Nature adverts were awful weren’t they?)

So to get things going in classic TMI fashion, let’s start with my EQUIPMENT.

The Mooncup was sterilized at the end of last month’s bloody installment but I like to give it another quick clean before the next time, just for my own peace of mind. As I’ve only just started my period things are pretty light, so I’m just going to team it with a super thin liner, which I think was from The Blue Meadow on etsy, and completely blends in with my underwear. I feel 100% protected at all times when I team up a menstrual cup and reusable liner, and even if I misjudge the flow sometimes (it happens), there will always be two layers of protection going on. I’m even wearing WHITE underwear, yes that’s right folks. It’s also nice to know that I don’t need to do the shop for tampons and such, as everything I need is already waiting for me in my drawer. Saving some essential Christmas pennies there! Cha-ching.

Next, clothing! I am going out today, but I also want to be cosy AF with nothing tight or imposing on my WOMB AREA like a high-waisted skirt. So, I have simply chosen this very snuggly long line cream jumper (Primark) and some toasty leggings, with these fluffy festive socks. All with a soft low-impact sports bra underneath. On a pretty chilly day, this is perfection.

Onto pain relief! Right, so even though I am on the pill and the pain I experience has been significantly lessened in the past few years, I still get bouts of pretty harsh cramping and my boobs get so sore sometimes it feels like someone has dropped an anvil on them. I’m trying to avoid using painkillers such as ibuprofen when I’m at home as they make me feel very tired, and more susceptible to wanting to nap all the time. I’m going to turn to my trusty microwave-heaty-uppy thing which was gifted to me from my Dad, and is a malleable lifesaver whenever I have pulled a muscle or am experiencing vicious cramps. I just pop it in the microwave for a minute or so and wrap it around my stomach. It feels fantastic! One new option I’m giving a whirl is this raspberry leaf tea, which supposedly is good for menstrual pains. If it doesn’t make a difference, I’m going to look into magnesium supplements I think. 

Skincare! My skin is so bloody cliche and always noticably breaks out when I’m on my period, without fail. So I like to give it a thorough going over, with a light milky scrub (Angels on Bare Skin), a rose-based cleanser that doesn’t make my natural pinkness arise quite so aggressively, a brightening serum, a little sun cream as it’s pretty bright outside today, a Dead Sea Spa moisturiser, and a lovely rich lotion to massage around the boob and decolletage area. Treat yoself!

Onto cravings. Now as it stands in our home, we are very blessed to have quite a few festive treats lying around, and don’t get me wrong I have indulged. However! In an effort to get my wholegrains in as well, I have simply added a tablespoon of peanut butter to my porridge this morning. My boyfriend bought us these gorgeous flavoured ones and they are DIVINE. Gives me that sugar hit and a toasty meal too. I’m already on the tea, and today’s is in the most appropriate mug, which my sister gave me for my birthday…it is from a fantastic company called No More Taboo, and it’s all menstrual cuppy! So cute!

Taking care of the mind and body! Before i head out im going to give myself 15 minutes to dip into Happy by Fearne Cotton, just a few pages to remind myself to be compassionately minded today, instead of letting my hormones dictate. Then a few stretches, mainly leg based as I dont think my abs can take anyhing strenuous today. I feel like something feral is chewing lacklustrely on my insides.

All to the tune of one of my favourite and most gorgeous females of 2017, Elle King.

And now we come to a point where daytime TV is becoming just too alluring, so its time to head out and get on with my day. Does anybody else absolutely FEAST on trashy sex stories like this when they’re on their period? Just me then.

To conclude this post, I will share my general experience of periods through the medium of Ross Geller. Enjoy.

When you notice you’ve started bleeding and all the bitch-ass moods, sugar cravings and abdominal pains suddenly make sense.

When your friends notice that shit’s going down, but you try to put on a brave face despite your hormones raging away.

When you struggle to get your Mooncup in at the right angle, and the stem keeps poking you so you need to pee 24/7.

When you can’t get the bloody thing to pop open no matter how much you twist it, and you’ve got to leave the house in 5 minutes.

When you show up to work and realise you’ve got to pretend you’re not writhing in pain for 8 hours.

When you get home and nobody understands your emotional needs, not even the weather.

When you decide to treat yourself to a Greggs and someone just bought the last festive bake.

When you run out of chocolate and RED ROSS rears his ugly head because you just can’t cope without sugar at this time.

When you can’t even have sex to ease the cramps because you think your partner finds you bloated and repulsive, even though he blatantly doesn’t and just wants to help.

When he’s a total beacon of support and goes to the shop just to buy you something to help curb your sugar craving and numb the pain.

And when you just decide to get on with it, because it’s going to happen every bloody month for the considerable future, and you remember that you’ve totally got this.

Happy holidays everybody! Don’t let the bleeding get you down! Wear bright red jumpers and dance like a madman to festive tunes! It will help the crampage!

Until the next day of Blogmas!



12 Days of Blogmas! Day Three: A Cosy Festive Morning

Welcome back my little frostlings!

I am here to present to you, something I am pretty damn grateful for. My morning has been entirely my own, no responsibilities or errands, just a lovely few hours to relax and get my cosy on before I mull through my to-do list this afternoon. So I thought I’d lend it to a chapter of Blogmas. Enjoy!

Normally I shower in the evening, but last night I kind of forgot. You know when you sometimes forget to wash and then feel like your world is crashing down around you because you can’t even crack the basics? Anyway. I listened to The Chris Moyles Show as I scrubbed my bedraggled self back into the adult world, and my cleaning routine seems to have been sponsored by Lush today. I think this solid body lotion is called Once Upon a Time, it smells of Granny Smith Apples dusted with icing sugar and it is heaven. Then there is “Rump”, which is supposed to be exclusively for your butt…I use it mainly on my chest and boobs  (RIP Lovely Jubblies cream). For general scrubbing I’m using one of my favourite soaps, Honey I Washed the Kids. It smells of TOFFEE AND HONEY AND EVERYTHING THAT IS GOOD.

All dried and warm and contact-lensed so I can actually see wtf I am doing, I opted for thick-ass tights and these socks because Christmas. Sufficiently fluffy base layers.

OOTD! My partner’s nanna gave me this jumper some Christmas ago and it is a perfectly tacky 1980s throwback, I love it. Paired with this red skirt…I am wearing both corduroy and wool, the festive textilian dream.

I moisturised the fuck out of my face because my Scottish pallor tends to dry, scaly and ruddy as Santa’s cheeks in the Winter months. This solid lip scrub is again from Lush, and I can’t remember the name of it but it smells like blackcurrant sweets. Anybody? And even though I’m only moosing round the house this morning I put on a bit of lipstick. I own literally two, and this one is called Queen of Hearts, so you can guess which colour we’re working with here.


Breakfast time. I always eat breakfast, and people who manage their entire morning without it frankly scare me. I’m trying to veer away from what my mind tells me is a good breakfast (Crumpets covered in duck pate with cranberry sauce and a glass of Prosecco-ho-ho-ho.) Instead I’ve gone for what I like to call “I Really Don’t Want to Catch a Cold So I Will Trick My Body Into Thinking It Can Shield Itself With Vitamin C and Hot Beverages”.

Here we have instant porridge (because life is brief) with honey, cinnamon, sunflower seeds, flaked almonds, an orange, two massive pints of water with lime, in a cup I procured from Oktoberfest, and some cod liver oil! Party time.

The festive Eeyore mug is out and thence it shall remain until summertime. This is a bog standard cup of tea, my favourite this time of year is redbush but I am unfortunately out of it. A Classic British First World Problem.

Oh Tea-Wok, the many bags you have had dipped in your face.

Incidentally, I fucked up big-time with the porridge and I poured enough cinnamon on to rival the Sahara desert.

Rosie you twat.

For Breakfast-desert, as is customary, I opened my Advent Calendar with the ravenous delight of delayed gratification.

My chocolate was a “gift box”. Yes!

So having tucked into my breakfast with Arthur Christmas on in the background and my bladder protesting against the four pints of liquid I’ve downed pretty quickly, I had a little wrapping session.

Many a Crayola felt-tip and decorative baubles joy to be had here. All to the tune of this very jaunty playlist on Spotify.

And the last dregs of this adorable little candle I got for my birthday. It didn’t quote make it to Christmas Eve, but hey we all over indulge at this time of year.

All interspersed with casual window-shopping for festive items I neither need nor can afford. Anybody else do this?

After quite a sedentary morning, mixed with the Gollum-esque hunch pose I used when wrapping up presents, my body is crying out for a good stretch, so I’m going to get my down dog on, and run some errands.

Until the next day of Blogmas!



12 Days of Blogmas! Day Two: A Visit to the Frost Fair 

Welcome back my little frostlings!

Blogmas Day Two!

So this morning my boyfriend & I paid a visit to our local park as they had announced their Frost Fair, which is an adorable little farmers market, festively themed. We bundled up and had the sweetest little start to the day, filled with hot mulled cider, sausage rolls, and more tartan-wearing dogs than you could shake a stick at. I managed to sample three different kinds of beer before 10.30am, my boyfriend bought eight huge pots of locally produced cheesecake (he did not think it was excessive), and I picked up an apricot and marzipan flavoured brownie, along with a cheeky venison scotch egg for later. In a way we are like our own breed of dog, we’re just happy as long as we have a long walk, procure some delicious food, and get our boots a bit muddy. Every time we noticed an adorable hound, we openly wept as there’s only so much cuteness we can take with any level of dignity. I’m so thankful for today, it was the perfect little festive treat, and well worth wading through the flooded footpaths for. Said footpaths were officially closed, but there was nothing stopping this boy from acquiring enough cheesecake to render a Christmas elf comatose. Here’s a few photos, until the next day of Blogmas!



12 Days of Blogmas! Day One

It’s happening.

So folks! Welcome to my 12 Days of Blogmas, or as I like to call it, Flagons of Blogmas! You may remember last year, I attempted the full 24 days of consecutive festive blogging, and failed in the last dark days, due to some personal issues I was having. In an effort to be more compassionate towards myself, this year I have consciously halved the endeavour to give myself a bit more time between each upload. I love writing & blogging in general, but forcing myself to produce daily content really meant burning the Advent candle at both ends, and is that what Jesus/Santa/Thor would want, I don’t think so.

Let’s see how this goes – most likely it will be 12 random days of festivities, between now and Christmas Day. I’m pretty excited! Have I planned each blog? Nope. Do I care? Nope.


Blogmas Day 1 – Ethical Christmas Gift Guide!

I’m going to avoid getting into the bare bones of what ‘ethical’ means, but basically this is a standard Christmas gift guide with a little twist: Each gift involves a donation to a charitable cause, or Earth-friendly notion. I’ve just finished my Christmas shopping, and by no means does each gift give to charity – I’ve delved into Amazon and supermarket fayre like it’s nobody’s business – but I have tried to sprinkle little stocking fillers and cards and whatnot amongst the other items. I feel as though if we all tried this every year, we could feel a tiny bit warmer in our cold consumer hearts in knowing that the gifts we give also reach out to a wider circle of recipients, those who need the help. I hope you can find some inspiration amongst these picks. ENJOY!

1. Something Recycled

Bottle Cap Coca Cola Decoration – ETSY

Handmade Rustic Wooden Coasters – ETSY

Recycled Sari Rug – OXFAM


2. Something Cosy

All of these adorable jumpers have something in common. They are all available to buy from Oxfam, for a bloody good cause. The Fallout one even has its tags still! Have a root around the website for a perfect cosy gift for someone this Christmas.

Festive Knitwear – OXFAM

3. Something Fairtrade

Handmade Tree of Life Trivet – TRAIDCRAFT

Milk Chocolate with Spiced Cookies – ETHICAL SUPERSTORE

4. Something Decorative

Remember a Loved One Bauble – CANCER RESEARCH

Snowmen in a Box – FRIENDS OF THE EARTH


5. Something to Fill the Old Stocking

Snowball Candle – GUIDE DOGS

Robin Hottie Pack – CANCER RESEARCH

Reindeer Headband – ALZHEIMER’S SOCIETY

6. Something Unwrapped


Oxfam Unwrapped Charity Gifts

Just a little more on this one. Oxfam offer an incredible range of ‘Unwrapped’ gifts for those in need, in the UK and around the world. From mosquito nets to safe water supplies, child education to sheltering a refugee. If you have £5+ to spare please consider a little donation to a fantastic cause. They also have a deal on at the moment (until the 6th December I think), in which a purchase of an Unwrapped gift gives you 50% off ‘Little Extras’, such as chocolate coins, mulled wine kits and all sorts of cute stocking fillers. I’ll leave links to other charity sites that offer these kinds of donation gifts.

CentrePoint – Buy a Christmas Dinner for a Young Person

Unicef Christmas Gifts

I realise that things can be tight at this time of year and you may not be able to afford giving extra gifts out. One final idea, which is a tad preachy but absolutely free… in fact you may even gain a cup of tea and a chocolate Penguin out of it…is giving blood! The ultimate gift really, as it is replenished pretty quickly, and it gives you the excuse to have a jolly good meal afterwards! I haven’t given blood for several years now as I was turned away a couple of times due to a lack of iron…but I will keep trying.

Give Blood

So there we have it folks, I hope some of this may have inspired you to treat someone in need this Christmas. Of course this is a tiny portion of the charitable giving arena at Christmastime, you could also offer your time at a homeless shelter, donate blankets or food to collections at supermarkets, help somebody sweep snow off their drive, etc! I apologise for the general pious vibe of this blog but as I say, this by no means reflects the entirety of my shopping for this year. I have made a little effort though! That’s something we can all do, surely?

Until the next day of Blogmas!





November Charity Shop Haul!

Hello my lovelies!

Still firmly cobwebbed & cosy in the dregs of October, I am very reluctant to step forwards into the winter months…mainly because I don’t care for the DAMN COLD. My wardrobe is 80% Summer-based and thusly aerated and colourful, some items susceptible to layering but mostly unsuitable for the rain and ice: also known as the majority of British life. This year, however, I have decided to do something pretty sensible and actually invest in some warmth. With the spirit of “How Cruel is my Wardrobe” in mind, if anybody read my summer posts, I have tried to do this on a second-hand basis, using eBay and charity shops. The one category I have struggled to find second-hand is coats, maybe I just need to up my game, so I did get some from ASOS & New Look instead.

What you’ll see here is a collation of many months of scattered thrift hauling, and I am very happy with each item…a little disclaimer, this post is not a mere declaration of “Look how bloody ALTERNATIVE I am!”…but hopefully an encouragement to you all, that if you search hard enough you can find some wonderful pieces without having to purchase brand-new. Yes they will have an air of somebody else’s washing powder and therefore, feel strange, but once you’ve bunged them in the wash then they are yours and ready for a whole new start. I should add that everything here was cheap as chips, with the least expensive being 99p and the most expensive being £12.99 (the hoodie from Zara) – which to be fair was brand new with its tags. Let’s have a looksee!

Lot #1 – My favourite and most worn item, is this gold-yellow pleated skirt from Yumi. It has a heavy draped sort of feel, and thankfully it has a lining to battle the whip-ups of November rain. Absolutely gorgeous. There’s the denim buttoned-up skirt which is from the Topshop ‘tall’ range, and my go-to selection is this with a simple jumper tucked in. I’m not one for jeans, but this is a great alternative. Then there’s this cheeky little festive Primark jumper! It has actual bells on it, is cosy as Hell, and it has an element of mystery to it….I mean does it refer to boobs or testicles?! The public needs to know. Either way mine are fantastic.

Lot #2 – A simple and very inexpensive selection of jumpers, collectively around £3. The first being a thin purple one, which is actually a polo-neck but as I don’t care for having tightness around the neck area I did a little hacksaw trim, and now it’s a perfect base layer. The grey one is the softest material I have ever felt, definitely a loungewear item but I would be more than happy to wear this anywhere. The third is a striped Primark jumper, pretty chunky and slightly bobbly but hey, if your jumper doesn’t have bobbles then it hasn’t had a life. Get it out on the road and bobble it up, baby.


Lot #3 – Triple the cosy. A little pale-blue thick-knit jumper, originally from M&S, and originally a size 14…I may have shrunk it in the wash…HOWEVER, it can now be worn cropped over my high-waisted skirts, so it was pretty much meant to be. It also makes your boobs look pretty voluptuous and curvy, like sexy Christmas puddings, bonus points there. Then we have a thin baggy top from Primark, which I’ve taken to wearing around the house with leggings and furry booties. Nothing digging into you when you’ve had a large meal, it’s perfect for the festive season. Then from Zara, is this oversized red hoodie, which is beautifully soft and comfortable. You can’t help but feel a little like a fabulous Santa in it.

Lot #4 – Okay, so these dresses aren’t inherently warm, but I plan to bundle them up with simple base layers, cardigans and chunky tights. The floral one has these gorgeous side panels to expose a little bit of skin (my pale chunky side flanks), the gold is slightly glittery and a potential Christmas-Day winner, and the third is incredibly floaty and soft in all the right ways. I plan to wear it with fishnet tights and my Docs, in an ironic feminist-driven ROXANNE YOU DON’T HAVE TO PUT ON THAT RED LIGHT kinda way.

SO IN SUMMARY! Barring the two skirts which were from eBay, everything you see here is from a mixture of charity shops/websites, including the British Heart Foundation, Marie Curie, Oxfam, Shelter and Age UK. To keep the charitable wheel of thrift a-turnin’, I have also donated a hefty amount of old clothes that no longer fit or suit me. One final little plug for charity shops before I leave – please consider buying Christmas cards and little stocking fillers from places like these, for instance I know the British Heart Foundation shop near me has Santa hats and thermal tights and allsorts of perfect festive paraphernalia from their own range.


(Also I’m thinking of doing another Blogmas this year! The sequel! Would anybody be interested?)



Mini-Post: Darker Cloth Pads

Hello my lovelies!



Let us all rejoice in this most bizarre and eclectic of holidays, the one day of the year when you embrace the notion of someone telling you that you look horrible. What are your plans for tonight? Ours include a Stranger Things marathon, going out for some food and a spooky pint or two, and maybe a horror film or two.

This post is simply a few items from my wanted list of cloth pads. They are of a darker variety because a) it’s Halloween and I’ve let the darkness consume my soul with more gusto recently and b) with darker patterns, stains are less easy to notice, therefore you don’t have to bother with stain treatments and can just wash them as normal (perhaps with a teeny cold rinse beforehand). If you’re a tad squeamish about blood – not sure what you’re doing on this blog if so – but it’s obviously slightly less visible with darker patterns. You also cannot go wrong with just plain black. Enjoy!

Imse Vimse Set of 3 Black Regular Pads – £14.95

EarthWise Girls Vivi Pad Lite Halloween Specials – £8.50

Honour Your Flow Blue Maxi Pad – £8.25

LorraineMakes Nightmare Cloth Pad – £6.70

MuffDusters Dr Who Pad – £8.00

FannyPaddams Daisy pad £6.00

Silly Panda Skulls Pad – £6.00

Silly Panda Hogwarts Pad – £6.00


Until the next time!